“But I want to be well now!”
My body clamors everyday, as I set yet another rediculous timetable regarding When and How I will be healed. I adhere to the goal, because any other is just, well, unthinkable.
And then I wait….and wait….until the set date arrives and frustration kicks in. Then I end up revising the timetable and setting yet another unrealistic goal.
And lemme tell ya, it’s almost always unrealistic.
Don’t get me wrong; believing in healing is great but setting a date for one’s own health wedding can be disappointing. Especially if you are like me and believe that all dates and finish lines are subject to God’s approval and re-writing.
It’s funny how often I tell myself, “I’m going to be healed of Lyme by this time next year, because gosh darn it, I’ve been at this gerbil-in-a-wheel treatment thing for a year and a half and they say that two to three years is the norm for recovery.”
What I’m discovering, however, is that despite the stats, there are no real stats when it comes to healing chronic illness. Stats are just comfort food for an uncertain tomorrow.
And healing from Lyme can feel more uncertain than life itself.
But that’s where the “P’s” come to the rescue. I know, who wants to be friends with Perseverance and Patience? It’s just so much effort! But the sooner we accept them and incorporate them into our lives, the more sanity we’ll have in our Lyme journey, in a life fraught with “maybe’s.”
And, as patience and perseverence kindly take us by the hand, they lead us towards hope and the knowledge that without them as our companions, we would be left disgruntled and in despair by circumstances that shuffle us along a path of too many twists, turns and dead ends.